Letting Go and Trusting God

So, I've recently had a huge turnaround in my life. I finally figured out how to be independently happy. This really came from a lifelong learning process, but I kinda found the "key" that made everything click and make sense. I've been trying to put this into words, but have been struggling. I just wrote a letter to my brother (who is on his mission) and this is what came out, and I think it explains a lot. Of course there is much, much, much more that I could never put into words, though.

I have been so happy lately because I've finally been able to grasp something that's always been hard for me. I was finally able to let go of the things that I wanted desperately to be able to control and trust that God would take care of me. Among many other things, this scripture helped a lot. And it didn't even click in my mind until a few days after I read it. I remembered reading it in my daily study and even though at the moment it didn't mean a lot, I was able to remember it and it helped me so much. Small miracle. Out of many. Here is the scripture(s): 3 Nephi 13:25-34, 14:7-11. The main message (for me) is that if we are serving God and keeping His commandments and striving diligently to follow Christ, He will take care of us. We don't need to think about those things we have no control over. We need to trust Him. Oh, I love these verses so much! And I'm especially comforted by the fact that Heavenly Father will bless me with good gifts (v.11). He knows me, and He knows what will make me happy - more than I could possibly know for myself! So why not trust Him? Why was it so hard for me to see this before? It has been in my way my entire life (I feel like), and a huge weight has now been lifted. And that's the other part - trusting that the Atonement will take care of all my shortcomings.

So anyway, I just had to share that with you because I feel so good right now. I feel like I finally found the root of my problems and something I've always known just clicked. Sorry, I like to go off on tangents.

So, that explains one aspect of how I've found this ability to be permanently happy. Being happy is hard work, but the more I choose it, the more I'm blessed with more reasons to be happy. I'm loving it. I'm doing better in my schoolwork and I have a better outlook on life. I don't have that desire to have what I want right now anymore. I do have what I want! I have the most amazing friends and family. I want to be able to enjoy each moment of my life. And I have been. And it's amazing.

I'm so grateful for the gospel and the billions of resources it opens up to me to learn and grow and love my life. If I could have any wish, it would be that everyone could feel this way. I'm positive that this time it will last, because every time I get down I know where my "key" to happiness is! Let's see, going on a month now with no real feeling sorry for myself, so I think I'm doing great!